my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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