Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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