im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
