I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
