You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
ok first of all what the fuck
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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