My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just had sex bonerless
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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