Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
