the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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