He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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