sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
