mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
