My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
