I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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