We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
