You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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