Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's the barista slut.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize