he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize