in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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