Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
