just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
