i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize