You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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