You really coming over, don't trick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
