my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
