:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's the barista slut.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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