My first STD was from a foam party
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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