**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
false alarm. still invincible.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
