nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
