youre lurking in front of me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
