Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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