feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize