last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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