Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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