A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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