Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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