I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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