Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
