i think i have two assholes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
