okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
God, I missed his penis.
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