Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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