I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
