dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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