she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
