It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
