so that wasnt chicken after all
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
