dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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