I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
