The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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