So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
