HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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