omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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