dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
