You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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