You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
