can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
