She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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