have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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