His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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