I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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