I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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