I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
