mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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