i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
