Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize