thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
