Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
