Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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