i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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