I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
