ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
